In case you don't know it, the Devil is working for the Lord! The Enemy is the Prosecuting Attorney, he's the one that always throws the law in your face and accuses you before the Judge! But that's his job, he's the "Accuser of the Saints!"--Rev.12:10; Job 1:6-12.--And he knows that you know what a mess you are, so he constantly reminds you of all your faults, he constantly reminds you of your failures. He constantly tries to discourage you that you'll never make it!
My, how many times the Devil tells me that! I don't think there's hardly a night that passes but what the Devil tells me, "Oh, look at you, how could you possibly be a leader?--Look at what a mess you are, what a failure you are! How could you have the nerve to try to lead these people and set yourself up as an example when you're such a failure and such a mess yourself!" Can you imagine what a responsibility is on me?
I really agonise in prayer over some of our people sometimes! Oh, if it weren't for Heaven it would be one Hell of a job!--"If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable!"--1Cor.15:19. But it has its compensations, thank the Lord! We have our bad times, our hard times, but we also have some wonderful times, TYJ!
Well, that's probably one of my biggest faults or weaknesses, I'm prone to get discouraged about myself. Ever since I was a little kid, a skinny little runt, I've always had that tendency. My brother was big, strong and handsome, girls were always running after him, but I was a thin, quiet, introverted, studious and skinny little runt, and I always had a terrible inferiority complex ever since I can remember! I think I must have had it since I was born!
But God's strength is made perfect and manifested in our weakness!--2Cor.12:9.-- And this is something you must learn before He can ever fully use you: That you're never going to be able to do what the Lord wants you to do by yourself or by your own will and self-control and making up your mind that you're going to do thus and so.--It's going to take prayer and utter dependence on the Lord!
You're going to have to be praying like a house afire, to only speak when you are, you might say, spoken to!--And it's not always easy to wait on the Lord and hold your tongue like that. But the Lord can help you do it!
Look at King David who had been so brave and courageous and had so much faith and killed the giant, killed lions, virtually almost did miracles in battle etc. After having lived with Saul for so many years, and then evading him and eluding him for so many years, there came a time when David got so discouraged he said, "Someday I shall surely die at the hands of Saul!"--1Sam.27:1.
So don't be too discouraged when you get discouraged! Everyone has been through it at some time or other. And because we know ourselves so well, we always get most discouraged about ourselves. "Lord, how can You use me when I'm such a mess?"
I was raised in the Hegewisch neighborhood on the southeast side of Chicago, Illinois, served in the USAF from 1970 to 1974, and became a full-time missionary for Christ living 40 years in Japan, 3.5 years in Russia, and a few months in other countries such as Finland, Poland, Estonia, Latvia, South Korea, Taiwan and mainland China where I also served the King of Kings, Jesus, as an Ambassador for His Kingdom.
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